Rules of the game

During the broadcast of last week's PGA tournament, I noticed a series of ads for a financial services firm that featured children learning to play golf. The only people in each ad were a young girl or boy with a set of golf clubs and a "grandfatherly" type gentleman watching nearby. One that was particularly memorable had a girl looking forlornly at her ball which had missed the fairway and landed in a densely wooded area. She questions outloud whether anyone would know if she moved the ball to a better location but decides she will follow the rules and "play it where it lies." The man then adds the tagline theme of the series - that the rules of golf are also good rules to follow for life.

Play it where it lies. No matter how difficult or strange or unfair, the rules of golf are based on the premise that you hit the ball from whereever it comes to a rest. If the lie really is unplayable - like in the lake or out of bounds - you end up with penalty strokes in addition to the extra strokes it takes to actually get the ball in the cup. Just like life. Make a mistake and you have to deal with consequences, maybe even penalties. Accidents, disasters, illness are the stuff of life that happen unpredictably and unfairly. And so we "play the hand we're dealt."

Whatever happened to get you to this spot, good golfers simply go about the business of deciding how best to take the next shot. No whining. No complaining. Just figure out which club you'll use and what angle to approach the ball and try your best to get the ball closer to the hole or at least to a place where you can take a better shot.

I used to play in annual charity golf tournament which offered players the opportunity to purchase a mulligan at registration. For this day, we could break the rules with one 'do-over" allowed in the round. Of course, this was one more way to add to the amount raised that day for the sponsoring charity, but could you imagine the result if charities could sell mulligans for a day at work or school or with a spouse or child?

In the PGA tournament, Tiger Woods hit a drive down the fairway which came to rest in a divet. Of course, this was unlucky and unfair, making the shot much more difficult than if it been a couple inches to either side of the patch without grass. Tiger being Tiger, his shot soared perfectly toward the hole.

Even if you are not a golfer, you have to admire Tiger Wood's ability to make unusual and difficult shots. More than simply athletic prowess or skills aquired from years of practice, Tiger's ability to amaze is also attributed to his creativity or imagination.

Play it where it lies may be the rule but the life lesson is making the best of a bad situation, making lemonade when life gives you lemonade. Quilters would recognize it as what you do with the material left over from other projects. The result can look like an assortment of scraps sewn together or, with imagination and creativity, something beautiful, a work of art.

The rules of golf are all based on the need to keep score. After all, if one doesn't keep score and play according to the rules, how will anyone else who plays golf be able to evaluate your game - and especially to compare their game to yours? Folks seem baffled when I tell them I don't keep score when I play. How do I know how I'm doing, they wonder? I don't have to keep score to know how I'm doing. Some drives are long and straight, some dribble off the tee; some putts head right for the hole, some don't go anywhere near the flag. I still play it as it lies, I just can't tell you at the end of a hole exactly how many shots it took me to get there. I can tell you if I had at least one good shot at that hole - which means simply that after my club struck the ball, I felt some sense of satisfaction. Two "good" shots in a row, and I'm feeling really happy.

As a lesson for life, my approach to golf has more to do with placing a higher value on being than doing - being outdoors, being with friends, being phsyically active - enjoying what I'm doing rather than worrying about how I'm doing. Playing the ball as it lies is just that for me - playing.

Paper Products

My tolerance level for shopping tends to max out in 2 hours or 3 stores, whichever comes first. This sounds very much like a rule so I have to admit to exceptions: run-away days devoted to exploring boutiques, galleries, and antique shops; garden centers in the spring; and, any time of the year, bookstores. Office supply stores are another place where I usually lose track of time and almost always find something nifty.

I guess I just have a thing for paper products. Whites, brights, pastels, construction, photo, sketching, notebooks, notepads, posterboard, cardstock, matte, glossy, lined, plain, linen, textured, tracing, graph, newsprint, filler, calendars, index cards, labels, and envelopes. All of which cry out for accessories: binders, dividers, file folders, portfolios, clips, fasteners, cutters, rulers, containers, clipboards. Implements for writing and drawing come in so many tempting varieties: fine line, medium point, washable marker, gel, glitter, crayon, colored pencils, No. 2 lead, pastels, dry erase, permanent markers, drafting, and watercolor.

Perhaps the appeal is that every piece of paper represents a fresh start or a blank slate waiting to just the right words, and every pen or pencil suggests a wide range of creative possibilities.

When I walk into an office supply store, I can't walk out again until I have walked up and down every aisle ... at least once. Cruel and unusual punishment would be sending me in to get one small item at the back of the store with just enough time to walk in and out to the checkout. Rarely do I walk out without buying something. I'm less tempted now after so recently having to sort, pack, and move my accumulated stash, but something new can break down my most determined resistance.

Yesterday, I went shopping for an ink cartridge. What I also bought was a new product that combines the ease of rearranging index cards with the stickiness of traditional Post-its - with lines and colors similar to a floppy disk label. Just what I needed for my closet door to-do list of lists! More possibilities! More stuff for my stash!

Old habits and new

I did it again. I steered my cart of groceries into the check out lane and realized that I had left my good intentions in the car.
Weeks ago I decided that I was bringing home way too many plastic bags. When I'm given a choice, I request paper bags, but even those were piling up. To reduce the amount of both kinds of bags and take at least a small "green" step, I would begin using cloth tote bags to bring home groceries. After a couple weeks, I actually put three tote bags in the car to have on hand for my next shopping trip. I also stashed in the car a few of the paper bags from the store chain that advertises 5 cents/bag for those brought back to reuse.
This wasn't the first time I started out with good intentions only to leave them behind once I arrived in the parking lot. How many more times of thinking about those bags will it take before I actually remember to use them?
If "old habits die hard." then the corollary must be that "new habits start hard."
Change takes work as well as good intentions. I recall learning that the process of making a change involves several stages, beginning with thinking about the change. Acting on the decision to change comes later and integrating the change to the point of creating a new habit takes repetition over weeks and months. No wonder we have such a difficult time changing eating and exercise habits.
Maybe the next time I need groceries, I'll tie a string around my finger before I go.